Last week Natalie had several nights when she was nauseated in the evening after dinner and/or her mirilax. It has been happening on and off over the last several months. In fact over the last several months she has even vomited twice out of the blue when she is not at all sick--both times were about 30 minutes after her mirilax and were at VERY bad times. Once was in the car with literally five seconds warning and once was 15 minutes after school started in the gym ALL over her backpack (everything inside was ruined)!! Both times she didn't feel sick ahead of time until just a few seconds before she got sick--but both mornings she woke up NOT at all hungry. David even commented to me last week how surprised he is at how poorly she seems to be tolerating her mirilax lately. Too bad that poor tummy of hers can't just work right all the time.
We saw the GI doctor last week and he told me he thought Natalie might be old enough to try biofeedback. It is something we have talked about before but thought she was too young for. We want to make sure she knows how to correctly use all of her muscles. Her doctor asked Natalie if she would be ok trying it- this is how he described it- we put a balloon in your bottom and blow it up and then they can tell you if you are pushing it out correctly and using the right muscles. To my surprise Natalie quickly agreed. Later when we were talking about it with David she told me she didn't hear the part of where the balloon went!! Then she told me she was just kidding, she did----and if it helped her to get rid of her troubles she thought it would be WELL worth it!!! That is quite a statement!!!! I was shocked!! I know she wished she didn't struggle with those things still. What a trooper she has always been.
So, one of the nights she was nauseated last week we had her sitting on the couch with us holding a bowl. We had given her some zofran but didn't want to make her lay down and go to bed until her tummy felt better--no one wanted her to get sick. It was past her bedtime and Stephen had fallen asleep next to all of us on the couch. Before she started to feel sick she had noticed that the movie "Superman Returns" was on and begged to watch it. Right after she turned two she saw this movie for the first time and LOVED it- Superman became her HERO and a huge part of her life. As our poor girl was sitting with us feeling so sick- it happened to be the part of the movie when Lex Luther hurts Superman with the Krypton. Just like when she was two and three--this part still made her SO nervous and she hated and loved to watch it at the same time.
Maybe it was because of the familiar feeling of Natalie not feeling well or maybe it was because the little guy was asleep and it was just the three of us like it was back in those days--but for whatever reason I kept thinking of Natalie watching Superman back then when she was going through chemo. I soon realized that David was thinking the same thing--he started asking Natalie "how does Superman fall??"" And when she told him she didn't feel well he answered for her and did the action that our precious two year old used to do. And then David kept quoting the other parts of Natalie's famous Superman Story--"he was so strong he broke the needle" and "he was so strong he broke the machine" and "they didn't know if he was going to live or die." As David said these phrases because little Natalie felt sick and maybe also because she is too much of a big girl--instead of hearing David's voice I almost heaard my little two year old Natalie's voice and the precious, precious way she pronounced all those things. Seeing how much the moment meant to David as well was so special- the two of us remembering something that might seem simple and silly but brought us all SO much happiness at a time in our lives when we needed and celebrated anything good and happy.
The first day I helped Natalie make up the Superman story was a day when we were driving in the car home from clinic or maybe the hospital and she was hurting like she was SO often back then. She needed some distraction to get through the ride home and so I brought up Superman--she had fallen madly in love with the movie by then and the first time she saw it she made up this thing with her hand and told us Superman went "zoom through the sky!!!" --and so in the car that day we made up the story together. I still remember it- Lex Luther and his diabolical plan--the way she said it was beyond adorable. And because she had a phenomenal memory- she remembered the story the EXACT way we made it up that first time. After that she would tell the story over and over to everyone and anyone. I still remember one day we went to the park in the spring when she was super bald and she told a group of strangers the story and they were so amazed at this tiny, cute little thing. I remember her telling it to the lady who always did her weight and blood pressure and to her nurses and doctor. She told it all the time. It was SO SO special--and getting the reminder watching it with her again that night and seeing how much it meant to David too was a good reminder. A reminder of our special Super Nats- who still is Super!!
Can you tell how much WE loved this???